Babysitting ain't what its cracked up to be
by Dark Opal
Summary: What would happen if 2 YJ-ers were turned back into children? And what would happen if one of them was Impulse?


"Hey Danny!"

"Hey!" a burly man called cheerily. He turned around and pressed a button then turned back to his friend. "So, how's old Charlie boy been then?" he asked.

The other man shrugged. "Okay, the usual. Doing what the boss says. I tell you, its boring work. Adding chemicals here and there…" he chuckled "Haven't even a clue what I'm doing, most of the time. Just copy what everyone else does"

Danny frowned as he caught sight of a flask in the other man's hand. It was half full of a slimy pink substance.

"Charlie, what's that?"

"This?" the man shook the flask. "This is what I wanted to show you. See, the boss wanted us to make a potion of sorts. A youth potion"

"So? Did you find out how to make it?"

"Well, no. I only managed to come up with this gloopy pink gunk"

"So, why bring it here?"

"Well, I was thinking" Charlie looked at Danny. "Your kid, Charlene right? Remember how she said to you once that she really liked that Goopy Goop stuff?"

"You mean that horrible green muck that kids love running through their fingers?" Danny made a face. "It looks horrible. But Charlene LOVES slimy things. I sometimes really wonder about the sanity of that girl"

"Why not give this to her? It's defective, doesn't work. It's just pink gloop. And your kid loves pink, right?"

Danny stared at Charlie. "Hey, that's a great idea!" he said. He took the flask from his friend and placed it into his shallow pocket.

There was a bleeping noise. Danny turned around again and pressed the button. Charlie looked over the banister to the vat underneath. Large whisks were turning and pushing humongous yellowy-white hunks of dough

"So, what's it like, working in a bread factory?" Charlie asked. 

"Boring. All I do is press this button here"

"Wow. That IS dull"

Danny walked over to Charlie and looked over at the dough that was mixing in the large vat beneath.

"Doesn't that stuff look disgusting?" Danny asked. Charlie looked at it again.

"Urgh, definitely. Especially the pink color"

Danny blinked and looked at Charlie. "Charles. Bread is not pink"

"This one is, look, streaks of pink"

Danny looked closer, then, panicking, felt his pocket. And looked at the dough again.

"You okay man? You've gone pale"

"The… the flask… dropped…"

The bleeping noise came again and the dough started to go through a chute that was connected to the vat. 

"What do I do? What do I do?" Danny cried.

"Calm down. Look, is there a stop button anywhere?" Charlie asked.

Danny shoved Charlie aside and slammed his fist down onto a large red button. Immediately the machinery stopped. The vat tipped over to one side and all of its contents fell into a waste disposal chute.

"Phew. That was close. Thanks Charles"

Charlie nodded. "S'ok. Whoa, is that the time? Have to go. Seeya later, huh? After work? We can go for a burger…"

"Yeah, sure. Seeya" Danny said. None of the men noticed a lump of the dough moving away on a conveyor belt…

"Not on yer fraggin' life"

"G'wan, I dare you!"

"No"

"What, you scared?"

"No"

Impulse zoomed up. "Hey guys! Ooh, izzat a pink croissant?"

Superboy grinned and folded his arms. "Yep. And Slobo here's too chicken to eat some"

"Lemme try!"

"No way Bart, THIS is for Slobo"

"There is no way I am gonna eat THAT frag"

"Chicken!"

"Am not"

"Haha! Slobo's afraid 'f a croissant!" Impulse laughed and made chicken noises.

"Lissen up, the top teen is afraid 'f NOTHIN'"

"All right them, eat it!" Superboy said. Slobo glared at him.

"Awright then, just ta show you I ain't no chicken" he said and took a huge bite.

 "Well?" Superboy asked. Slobo gulped.

"Okay"

"Okay? Look at your face!"

"Lemme try!" Bart said. He picked up the croissant, and, before Superboy could stop him, had eaten the rest of it.

"Bart!"

"What? No one wanted it!"

Superboy sighed. "Well, there's my fun for the day over" he said and flew out in search of Wondergirl. Bart suddenly felt a lurch and a pain in his stomach.

"Ow…" he moaned. A major headache shot through Slobo's head and he groaned.

"Man…" he moaned faintly before passing out.

"Hey Cass!" Superboy called. Cassandra Sandsmark aka Wondergirl looked up.

"What is it Kon we're kinda busy," she said irritably.  The Kid flew over.

"Doing your hair. Typical" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I do a GOOD job" Anita said, continuing to braid the blonde's hair.

"Well I was kinda wondering whether you'd like to go out, maybe, to a movie?"

Wondergirl jumped up, all thoughts of her hair forgotten. "Really? What, now?"

"Uh, hello? I was still braiding until you jumped up and messed up everything!" Anita said.

"Oh, uh… hey, can we do this later, huh?"

Anita sighed and shrugged. "Fine, what-EVER… and I spent AGES deciding what hairstyle would fit you…"

"I'm just gonna go change. Can't be seen looking like this!" Cassie said to Kon, ignoring Anita, gesturing to her simple jeans and black top.

"Heaven forbid" Cissie muttered.

Wondergirl grinned. "I'll be right back. Stay. Here"

"What, it wasn't like I was planning to follow and watch her CHANGE or something…" Kon muttered to no one in particular, looking at his sneakers. He looked up and met a not-very-well-hidden grin on Anita's face and a raised eyebrow from Cissie.

"What? I WASN'T!" he protested. There was a sudden loud screech. Anita and Cissie jumped to their feet.

"That was Cassie!" Anita cried. Superboy flew ahead of the two girls.

"What? What?" he asked, arriving next to the girl. The blonde pointed, shaking, at two pairs of clothing. Kon picked them up.

"That's… that's Bart's…"

"And Slobo's" Kon said.

"They melted!"

Kon looked around. "I don't see any puddles or anything… and people can't MELT!"

"Then… then…" Cassie scrunched up her face. "What are Slobo and Bart doing NAKED?"

"I am sure I do NOT want to know" Kon said. Anita and Cissie burst in through the door.

"Cassie! Are you all right?"

"Are those…" Cissie asked, repulsed. At Cassie's nod she put her head in her hands. "Ewww…"

There was a loud yell and a high-pitched giggle.

"Not funny!" a voice shouted. There was a silence then a loud yell.

"Is someone else in the place?" Cissie wondered.

"Well if there is why didn't our scanners pick anyone up?" Cassie asked. The four teens made their way cautiously to the noise. It was coming from a room. Anita pushed the door open slowly, Kon and Cassie tensing for action. They felt a whoosh of air blowing past their legs and heard a giggle. In the room a little pale-skinned raven-haired boy stood and glared at the teens.

"Oh cripes, he's not wearing anything" Cissie said and covered her eyes.

"Uh… go on Kon… boy time!" Anita said and shoved him in.

"Hey!" he protested then sighed. He flew slowly over to the boy.

"What's the matter kid?" he asked gently. The boy brushed his arm roughly across his eyes then glared at Kon.

"Not a kid" he said, crossing his arms angrily.

"Uh… okay… what's the matter?"

"He hit me!" the boy pointed to the door. Kon looked at the three girls standing in the doorway.

"He?"

"Yes"

Kon exchanged puzzled looks to the girls.

"I'll… uh, I'll find some clothes for him…" Anita said and bolted.

"Yeah, I'll go with her" Cissie said, following her friend.

"Me too!" Cassie said and charged after the two.

"Well thanks for the HELP!" Kon shouted. He turned his attention back to the boy.

"Oh man, I am SO not good with kids…"

"Not kid!" the boy shouted, getting up and kicking Superboy in the shins.

"Ow! You little brat!"

"You not like me. No one like me" the boy's red eyes welled up with tears. Superboy looked at him. RED eyes? Strange.

"Well… I… well how can I like you if you KICK me?"

"You call me kid" the boy scowled. 

"You ARE a kid!" Kon exploded.

"I strong. NO one call me kid"

"We're back!" Anita announced. She tossed the clothes to Kon.

"What'm I supposed to do with these?"

"You wear, dumdum," the little boy said. Anita stifled a giggle.

"No, actually, YOU wear them" Kon said, trying unsuccessfully to pull the shirt down over the boy's head. It slipped on easily, the collar settling comfortably on his shoulders. The boy pulled the bottom of the shirt down as far as it would go. It slipped to his knees.

"Too big, dumdum"

"I know that. Put these on" Superboy tossed a small pair of jeans to the boy who pulled them up over his knees onto his waist. They fit comfortably over the boy's muscled stomach.

"Man, what do you do, like a thousand pushups a day or something? I always thought kids were supposed to be SOFT. Or something," Kon said, staring at the muscles there were not supposed to be there. There was a red blur and Cassie flew into the room. "Kon, Anita, we have a problem"

"What?"

"There's someone outside… running too fast for me or Ciss to catch"

Kon threw his hands up in the air. "Today is NOT my day"

"Okay, whoever you are, today is NOT the day to get on the wrong side of the Kid, so LEAVE" Superboy hollered, floating outside. He looked around.

"No one here" he said. He felt something push him and suddenly found himself flat on the soil. He looked up, spitting out chunks of earth. A brown haired boy stood in front of him, arms crossed defiantly. 

"Slowpoke!" he said, blowing a raspberry then ran off.

"Hey, was he…"

"HEY! That's my SHIRT you sick little kid!" Cassie yelled, zooming after the blur.

"Do NOT tell me he was using Cass' shirt as a pair of SHORTS" Cissie said.

"Looked that way" Kon said grimly. He stood up and put his hands on the ground. A blue jolt ran through the soil then…

BOOM.

Kon flew after the boy and caught him in his arms. The boy yelled and punched the teen.

"Nuh-uh little boy, you are NOT getting away from ME"

"You two have a LOT of explaining to do" Cissie said to the two. Kon was holding the brown haired boy firmly, his wrists held together behind his back.

"How did you two get here?" Cassie asked, scowling ferociously. The brown-haired boy started to cry.

"Aw man Cassie, you scared him!"

"Dunno how got here" the raven-haired boy said. He looked quite irritated.

"Okay, what's your name?"

"Not telling!" he said, crossing his arms and sticking his chin out defiantly.

"Since when were kids so stubborn?" Kon whispered to Cissie. Anita kneeled down to look at the boy in the face.

"We're only going to try and get you back to your mommy and daddy, all right? We just need to know your names so we can get you back. You do want to see your mommy and daddy, right?" she asked gently. The boy scrunched up his face.

"Don't have mommy and daddy"

"Oh…"

"Killed 'em"

"Uh, right. So, what's your name?"

"L-"

"Want candy," the brown haired boy said. 

"You can have candy later" Kon said.

"No! Want candy now!"

"Tell me your name first then I'll give you candy" said Anita. The boy shook his head.

"Candy!"

"FINE!" Cassie said and stormed out of the building. She soon returned with an armful of candy. "Here! All yours! Now shut up!"

The boy looked at the pile happily. "Candy!" he said. Shaking himself loose from Superboy he attacked the candies at an alarming speed.

"Whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Cissie said, leaping at the boy.

"Haha! Slowpoke!" the boy laughed gleefully and ran off. Cissie glared at Kon.

"Good GOING"

"Hey, not my fault!"

Cissie sighed. "Oh well" she said and ran after the boy, Superboy following. 

"Stupid" the other boy said, shaking his head. "Not give dumdums candy"

"Why not?" Cassie asked, somewhat offended.

"Sugar not good for dumdums"

"You say dumdums waaay too much. And what do you mean, 'not good'? He wanted the candy, I got it for him. And besides how would a little kid like YOU kno-"

"He's right actually, too much sugar's not good for little kids," Anita said. The boy grinned triumphantly at Cassie.

"See?"

"Yes, yes, how very smart of you. Now please, what's your name?" Anita asked, getting up and walking to the computer.

"Lobo"

Please excuse me if I have bad grammar or if I haven't followed YJ very well. For now, Lobo's gonna be calling everyone 'dumdums' until I can think of a better things for him to say. 'Bastiches' just seemed a bit too strong. This is my first YJ fic so please, no flames!


End file.
